Are we worthy?

Last weekend I received a very heartbreaking news. My friend's husband's sister's baby died in the womb...at 9 months. She was due in a few days. Apparently the baby's umbilical cord broke in her tummy. That news was very much difficult to digest..even though for the life of me I can't remember her name and I've only met her once.

To have a person grow inside you is a very exhilarating experience. Every day you think about whether you've eaten enough for him/her to grow and wondering if you're doing the right thing traveling to and from the office everyday. As you feel the baby kick, you shriek in delight and wait in anticipation for that moment to come even though sometimes it does hurt. Towards the end of the pregnancy you feel the kicks and movements ever so often and sometimes you dread it. But when you can't feel it anymore even for a second, you keep telling the baby inside you to keep on kicking. And once baby gives you even a little nudge, you heave a sigh of relief.

When the baby is born, you trace your fingers on the outlines of her face. You welcome into the world with love and care. As the nurses wrap her up, you just stare at your baby, hoping to be able to hold her as soon as possible. Her newborn scent wafts in around you and you bask in the happiness of holding someone you've been wanting to meet for the past 9 months.

But to have that feeling taken away from you is unimaginable. I can't imagine what is running through her mind when the baby is no longer inside her but yet the baby's not with her. For 9 months the baby was growing and connecting with the mother. For 9 months the mother's heartbeat was the loudest and most reassuring sound. And for 9 months she built her hopes and dreams for the child in her womb. But after a split second, it was all gone.

That got me thinking as to how lucky we are, alhamdulillah. To have 2 beautiful kids within 3 years of marriage. Indeed we are blessed, and hopefully the kids are lucky too to have us as their parents.