My Brother Is Awesome

My brother is so awesome, he's the most awesomest person in the whole world. One day, he saw Chuck Norris being beaten up by two bears, he simply walked up to them and kicked the bear's @ss! Chuck Norris of course begged for mercy, and my brother, the most awesomest guy in the whole world gave him that. Even untill today, Chuck Norris sents him thank you gifts every week! Last week he received a pair of Nike shoes - the expensive ones. I can't wait to see what my brother got this week!

My brother is so awesome, he's seven feet tall, and can shoot fire from his eyes! True story, once we were in 7-Eleven™ and the cashier short changed him, thanks to my brother's awesome mathematical skills, he immediately noticed that 57 cents were missing! He got angry and oh my god it was awesome! He burnt down the 7-Eleven with his FIERY EYES in 5 minutes! But nobody died, because since my brother is so awesome, he saved everyone in the area, including the Indian cleaning lady, because he's not a racist, and even if he was he'd still be awesome, but he's not.

I know he's not because once, an Indian Doctor slipped and almost fell off the 6th floor of a hospital, (which i can't remember now because my brother's awesomeness blurred everything else in my mind that day, but i'll ask him later and i know he'll remember because he has an awesome memory where he can remember everything, including the day he was born, which he tries to forget because he said it was kinda gross) and my brother who was eating raw meat (because he's a man's man and real men only eat raw meat for breakfast, lunch and dinner - they sometimes have scones for tea but that's because they are so secure of their manliness, much like my brother, who is MANLY ) in the courtyard saw the doctor falling off and jumped FIVE STORIES high to catch the doctor! The doctor was so thankful he gave my brother coupons for lifetime free medical checkups, which my brother doesn't need because he's also very healthy, and awesome.

It's really hard to describe how awesome my brother is because no matter how i describe it, he's way more awesome than that. Imagine the most awesomest person in the world, and you know he'll be twenty seven times more awesome than that person.

I'm really lucky to have my awesome brother around.